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- A therapist believes understanding a couple’s schema can predict the nature of their conflicts.
- Schema therapy delves into how fundamental beliefs influence behavior and interpersonal dynamics.
- Recognizing your schema can aid in resolving persistent disputes.
Even couples with strong relationships may find themselves embroiled in repeated disagreements.
While these disputes might seem to revolve around trivial matters like chores or tardiness, they are often rooted in deeper perceptions of reality—known as your schema. Avigail Lev, a San Francisco-based therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), shared these insights with Business Insider.
To assist her clients, Lev utilizes schema therapy. This method encourages partners to explore their core beliefs. Frequently, she administers an online questionnaire that helps individuals identify which schemas resonate most with them before sessions begin.
“In 90% of cases, I’m able to forecast what issues couples will face even before our first meeting,” Lev revealed during her conversation with Business Insider.
“By analyzing individual beliefs, we gain insight into behavioral patterns,” she continued. Understanding your schemas can not only help address conflicts within the partnership but also foster greater vulnerability or assertiveness between partners.
The Influence of Beliefs on Relationship Dynamics
Schema therapy, established by psychologist Jeffrey E. Young in 2003, categorizes various schemas influenced by early life experiences. A person may harbor multiple schemas including but not limited to abandonment issues and entitlement tendencies linked to neglectful upbringings or overindulgence respectively.
Finding traditional assessments lengthy and cumbersome for her clients, Lev developed a more succinct relationship-focused questionnaire. Participants evaluate statements using a scale from “Strongly Agree” to “Strongly Disagree.” Some examples include:
- I experience feelings of isolation from others.
- I believe most individuals are dishonest at times.
- If I don’t meet high expectations I have for myself, I feel discontented and let down by my own performance.
After analyzing results over twelve years across diverse demographics, she found that the predominant schema identified was unrelenting standards—a manifestation of perfectionism which manifests as dissatisfaction both personally and in relation toward others…Complementary Yet Contrasting Beliefs among PartnersConsider an illustration:If partner grappling ‘with relentless standards asserts criticism regarding cleaning approaches taken then alternate ending thinking reflects severely pressed against beautifully crafted narrative constructed culminating ongoing fears identified temporally underscoring sensitivity each tinges essence permeate those conversations they’ll face each time effortlessly morphing rediscovery occasions repeatedly growing perceived burdens carried”
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