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- My eldest daughter decided to take a gap year at 18, postponing her college education.
- She expressed a desire to explore Europe for three months using her own savings.
- I experienced daily anxiety during her absence, yet I recognized the importance of trusting my daughter.
As someone who was once an anxious child and grew into an apprehensive adult, it was challenging for me to release that fear while nurturing my five children.
The world seemed fraught with dangers, and I found myself constantly concerned about my family’s safety. Fortunately, my children navigated their childhoods without major incidents; however, I remained haunted by the potential for disaster lurking around every corner. Acknowledging that this mindset wasn’t healthy, I made efforts to conceal my worries from them. Although I never obstructed their paths toward independence—whether it was biking to school or learning how to drive—my heart raced with anxiety each time they ventured out. This constant state of worry proved exhausting.
When my youngest child, Julie, reached 18 years old and opted for a gap year between high school and college, she had been saving money from various jobs with the intention of traveling alone across Europe for three months. Initially hoping this was merely a fleeting idea, it soon became clear that Julie was genuinely committed.
She presented me with an elaborate itinerary detailing plans to visit 11 countries while primarily staying in youth hostels. My instinct urged me to dissuade her by highlighting all the potential risks associated with such an adventure. However, as I looked at my intelligent and composed daughter asking for my trust, I took several deep breaths before responding affirmatively: “Yes.”
The Difficulty of Farewell
Saying goodbye at Newark Airport proved emotionally taxing. Julie radiated excitement as she donned a backpack nearly as large as herself. Her first destination was Rome where she attended the baptism of twins belonging to cherished babysitting clients who had Italian roots—a gentle introduction into her travels since she would be surrounded by friends in a welcoming environment.
I understood that not every moment would be so seamless—and indeed they weren’t. Julie faced challenges like getting lost in Venice’s labyrinthine streets and spending a night in an unsavory hostel in Budapest; she even fell ill with strep throat requiring medical attention in Vienna. Yet amidst these trials were countless joyful experiences: visiting our former exchange student in Lucerne and reconnecting with her brother Patrick studying abroad in Marburg; even attending Sheridan’s violin concerto premiere in Finland!
Learning Trust Through Experience
Throughout those months filled with worry about Julie’s well-being abroad—I realized it was essential for me not only to let go but also learn how crucial trust is when raising children. Additionally, I needed reassurance that perhaps the world wasn’t quite as perilous as I’d always envisioned it being.
We maintained contact through quick daily check-ins on WhatsApp where she’d share photos capturing moments from Florence’s restaurants or Salzburg’s mountainsides—all showcasing smiling faces alongside friendly locals encountered along the way! Each evening upon checking into hostels she’d bond over shared adventures exploring Paris under twinkling lights near iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower—providing comfort knowing she surrounded herself safely among fellow travelers!
Upon returning home after those transformative three months abroad—Julie emerged more mature than ever before! She later moved onto New York City pursuing higher education within Brooklyn—and remains firmly rooted there today! Do remnants of concern linger regarding solitary subway rides? Absolutely! Yet witnessing firsthand how sensible independent resourcefulness flourished during this journey reassures me immensely—it’s largely thanks due diligence undertaken throughout those travels!
This experience imparted invaluable lessons not just about parenting but personal growth too! It taught both myself & Julie alike—to embrace relaxation amidst uncertainty while relinquishing control over uncontrollable factors whilst seeking positivity within people & places encountered along life’s path ahead! Viewing our surroundings through lenses tinted less by fear & more appreciation has become paramount moving forward together despite lingering cautiousness still present today!
If given another chance would allow 18-year-old Julie venture forth alone across eleven foreign lands far away once again?
< p>I wouldn’t hesitate—for sure!
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